Letter to Dad from Jay
Jay who is all of 8 years old wrote me this letter. Don't know what made him do it but I am humbled and honored :-).
posted by Rajeev Pillai @ 12:47 PM
0 comments
6.19.2009
1.09.2009
Land of the Deep Freeze
It has been a brutal winter so far. Since the begining of December 2008, we have had maybe 2 days where the temperature went above freezing. We have probably shovelled atleast 15 inches of snow in the past 30 days, today is January 9th.. One time the snowblower broke down and it took 3 days to repair. Luckily, with a little trickery, it cost only a few dollars to fix and it works beautifully.
The best thing about this winter so far is the boys helping out. They are out there with me cleaning the sidewalk and path to the front door while I am shovelling or using the blow dryer on the driveway. After all is done we'll have a snowball fight. The boys really get me good, covering me from top to bottom with snow. In return I drag them in snow and also pull the sled with both of them on it. Oh, the joy! We are looking forward to our ski trip to Wisconsin, atleast I am some time end of this month or early february.
I am heading to India to be with my ailing father and give a hand to my brothers and sister. he has been ill for a while and detiorating. God bless him, keep him in peace, good health, pain free and in good spirits. that is all I ask for. I will miss my honey and the boys. I will miss Lata's birthday on the 19th. There is a surprise ;-), the boys don't know about it either.
God bless and take care of my little family!
The best thing about this winter so far is the boys helping out. They are out there with me cleaning the sidewalk and path to the front door while I am shovelling or using the blow dryer on the driveway. After all is done we'll have a snowball fight. The boys really get me good, covering me from top to bottom with snow. In return I drag them in snow and also pull the sled with both of them on it. Oh, the joy! We are looking forward to our ski trip to Wisconsin, atleast I am some time end of this month or early february.
I am heading to India to be with my ailing father and give a hand to my brothers and sister. he has been ill for a while and detiorating. God bless him, keep him in peace, good health, pain free and in good spirits. that is all I ask for. I will miss my honey and the boys. I will miss Lata's birthday on the 19th. There is a surprise ;-), the boys don't know about it either.
God bless and take care of my little family!
posted by Rajeev Pillai @ 7:15 PM
0 comments
12.18.2008
The "Citizen'.
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the.........16 years after I came in to the USA I became a citizen of this great nation on November 6th 2008. Seems like a lifetime and rather painful. It was like running a marathon full of obstacles, distractions, small victories, shameful humiliations and setbacks, but I saw a small ray of hope at the horizon which kept me chugging along.
It was the first 5 years which was the most painful. I was a cocky twenty something young man ready to take on the world or so I thought, naive, gullible, insecure- yeah insecurity can make you cocky :-), easily influencable and a high risk taker. During the process, I met good people who gave me bad advices- only because they did not know any better, good people who gave me good advice- which I often ignored, bad people who gave me bad advices and took advantage of my naiveté. I lost tens of thousands of dollars and ended up with sleepless nights, guilt and sense of helplessness which even drove me to the brink of ..........yeah, you guessed it right. Quoting Morgan Freeman's character Red from the movie "The Shawshank Redemption"- "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies." Yeah- Hope, everyday I would wake up without knowing what lay ahead but somewhere a small part of me was hoping for a miracle, end to my miseries and a better tomorrow.
Getting married in 1998, continuing my education, changing my career, birth of our 2 sons, owning a home which we see build from the ground up-put a different perspective to life. I was thankful to have a purpose in life, to nurture and raise my family to give them a better life than what I experienced. It is good to experience adversities and learn from it. In my honest opinion, the mythical Heaven and Hell which we talk and discuss is something that we experience during our lives. it is hard to tell what happens in one's after life but if you look around there is heaven and hell around you. It is a state of mind and you can choose to be in either or.
Dear reader, you must be wondering what the hell I am talking about and what it has to do with becoming a U S citizen. Well, everyone who comes to these shores dreams of becoming a citizen at some point or the other. I did too, but due to all my experiences during my 5 year misadventures, I stopped caring. It did not matter to me if I became one. However, it was important for me to live in peace with myself, knowing that intentionally I did nothing wrong and I have a clear consciousness, I had to become one. I always believed in holding my head up high and never to fear anyone but God. These are the values I want to instill in my kids and I hope God gives me the strength and perseverance to do that. To the nation that so willingly adopted me as one of their own, I bring thousands of years of heritage and culture passed down for generations from my ancestors. As Mayor David Dinkins of New York from the 80's once quoted "New York is a beautiful mosaic- with so many colors, so many dreams, different characteristics". This applies to the whole of America which is a land of immigrants, some came yesterday and the others 500 years ago or even 20000 years ago walking across the Bering Straits- so historians say.
I am honored and humbled for your acceptance of me, America. I hope and pray to God that I can live up to your expectations and make positive contributions to mankind.
It was the first 5 years which was the most painful. I was a cocky twenty something young man ready to take on the world or so I thought, naive, gullible, insecure- yeah insecurity can make you cocky :-), easily influencable and a high risk taker. During the process, I met good people who gave me bad advices- only because they did not know any better, good people who gave me good advice- which I often ignored, bad people who gave me bad advices and took advantage of my naiveté. I lost tens of thousands of dollars and ended up with sleepless nights, guilt and sense of helplessness which even drove me to the brink of ..........yeah, you guessed it right. Quoting Morgan Freeman's character Red from the movie "The Shawshank Redemption"- "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies." Yeah- Hope, everyday I would wake up without knowing what lay ahead but somewhere a small part of me was hoping for a miracle, end to my miseries and a better tomorrow.
Getting married in 1998, continuing my education, changing my career, birth of our 2 sons, owning a home which we see build from the ground up-put a different perspective to life. I was thankful to have a purpose in life, to nurture and raise my family to give them a better life than what I experienced. It is good to experience adversities and learn from it. In my honest opinion, the mythical Heaven and Hell which we talk and discuss is something that we experience during our lives. it is hard to tell what happens in one's after life but if you look around there is heaven and hell around you. It is a state of mind and you can choose to be in either or.
Dear reader, you must be wondering what the hell I am talking about and what it has to do with becoming a U S citizen. Well, everyone who comes to these shores dreams of becoming a citizen at some point or the other. I did too, but due to all my experiences during my 5 year misadventures, I stopped caring. It did not matter to me if I became one. However, it was important for me to live in peace with myself, knowing that intentionally I did nothing wrong and I have a clear consciousness, I had to become one. I always believed in holding my head up high and never to fear anyone but God. These are the values I want to instill in my kids and I hope God gives me the strength and perseverance to do that. To the nation that so willingly adopted me as one of their own, I bring thousands of years of heritage and culture passed down for generations from my ancestors. As Mayor David Dinkins of New York from the 80's once quoted "New York is a beautiful mosaic- with so many colors, so many dreams, different characteristics". This applies to the whole of America which is a land of immigrants, some came yesterday and the others 500 years ago or even 20000 years ago walking across the Bering Straits- so historians say.
I am honored and humbled for your acceptance of me, America. I hope and pray to God that I can live up to your expectations and make positive contributions to mankind.
posted by Rajeev Pillai @ 9:51 AM
0 comments
11.03.2008
Eight and Six!!
My li'l pun'kin turned 6 and my big boy turned 8 on Oct 25th and 26th respectively.
Seems like only yesterday, we brought them home, could hold them on my right had like a football :-). Today Jay is almost 59 inches tall, an inch shy of 5 feet and Vinny is about 42 inches ( 3.5 feet). Vinny is in kindergarten and jay is in second grade. Vinny played soccer and T-ball this year and got an white/orange belt in Taekwondo. Jay played baseball, Flag football and an orange belt in Teakwondo.Vinny's soccer team came 2nd overall in the Crestwood Soccer league and Jay's flag foot ball team is playing a game on sunday to be in the "Super-Bowl" of oakforest flag football league.
Both are good readers and writers and above average in Math. we are so proud of them. As a birthday gift they got a Nintendo Wii which they have been looking forward to have for a long time. They have been exceptionally good, model kids, playful but mindful and good listeners. All of saturday and sunday- their birthdays, we played on the Wii and had the their friends Frankie,Will,Abby, CJ and Walker over to share their birthday fun. We also had the first snow flurries of the year on Oct 26th even though it only lasted a minute or so.
Happy Birthday, our precious gems!
Mom & Dad.
Seems like only yesterday, we brought them home, could hold them on my right had like a football :-). Today Jay is almost 59 inches tall, an inch shy of 5 feet and Vinny is about 42 inches ( 3.5 feet). Vinny is in kindergarten and jay is in second grade. Vinny played soccer and T-ball this year and got an white/orange belt in Taekwondo. Jay played baseball, Flag football and an orange belt in Teakwondo.Vinny's soccer team came 2nd overall in the Crestwood Soccer league and Jay's flag foot ball team is playing a game on sunday to be in the "Super-Bowl" of oakforest flag football league.
Both are good readers and writers and above average in Math. we are so proud of them. As a birthday gift they got a Nintendo Wii which they have been looking forward to have for a long time. They have been exceptionally good, model kids, playful but mindful and good listeners. All of saturday and sunday- their birthdays, we played on the Wii and had the their friends Frankie,Will,Abby, CJ and Walker over to share their birthday fun. We also had the first snow flurries of the year on Oct 26th even though it only lasted a minute or so.
Happy Birthday, our precious gems!
Mom & Dad.
posted by Rajeev Pillai @ 2:50 PM
0 comments
8.11.2008
Celebrating the life of my mom, Saru.
It has been 4 years since she said goodbye to the world and left for the heavenly abode. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her and have a conversation with her in my own way. Jay too remembers Ammachi fondly and some times he says he wants to go up to heaven and live with ammachi. Yesterday he was about to eat a piece of sweet treat, he asked all of us if we wanted a piece and we all said no, then he points it upwards towards heaven and asked ammachi if she wanted a bite, I couldn't help smiling and feeling proud of him for that gesture. He is an emotional little fella... just like me, he tears up at the slightest and acknowledges all my words of encouragement and when I narrate stories of my childhood and how amma would react at different occasions. Vinny was not around to see her and experience her love and warmth. But he misses her in his own way. Lata proudly remembers her mother in law with reverence and love, the "master sergeant" who orchestrated our wedding in 9 days flat :-). She considers herself lucky to have had a Mother in law like my mom. Good for her she never got her in a foul mood or she would have tasted a piece of broom stick :-).
We offered Shradham ( "Bali")- a traditional Hindu ritual for the salvation of a departed soul, at the Lemont Temple. My brothers and sister do it according to the malayalam calendar but me....I have to be different and perform the ceremony on the day she died according to the English calendar. No disrespect to any one, I have always been different. It is inborn, I don't pretend or try to be, it just comes natural. perhaps something I inherited from my paternal or maternal ancestors.....I don't know. It puzzles me and annoys my wife. She thinks I am trying to be a show off but I am not. If you read the previous posts in this blog you may be able to somewhat decipher my quirkiness.
Anyway....back to my mom. I guess I neglected her during the time she was alive so I am so much emotional after she passed away. I left home when I was 17 ( 27 years ago) and since then we have had a long distance mother-son relationship. Her values were different than mine, I loved and respected her but still somehow felt distant from her. I wanted her to be happy but I wanted to do things my way and often had differences due to that. She came and lived with us here in Chicago, I hoped that she would be happy and we all wanted to be happy but it turned out to be a disaster due to circumstances and she went back to India after a month's stay. How I wish I could go back in time and make things right for her. Que sera..sera.. whatever will be will be.
I am sure my mom's soul in peace. I have found peace :-) and finally come to terms with myself in the past year or so. No more bitterness towards the people and circumstances that mercilessly caused her pain and anguish for a better part of her life.
Let me tell you a story of when I was maybe 7 or 8 years old. I had conveniently forgotten to do my homework and gone to sleep. Mom woke me up after she had finished her chores late at night and went through my book bag, when she realized that I had not done my home work, she woke me up and made me do my homework which was preceded and followed by beatings with a guava twig which stung and hurt like anything. I fell asleep sobbing and crying. later in the dark of the night I could hear sitting beside me crying silently and gently patting my arms and legs where she had planted the guava twig:-). Next morning she woke up early and walked me to the bus stop at 6.45 am( normally I go myself, she had tons of chores to do before she went to work), consoling me and holding me close to her bosom. That was my mom, full of love and compassion for her children but helpless to show what she had in her heart due to the circumstances and commitments.
I hope she reincarnates and comes back to this world as a happy, healthy and peaceful being and make this world a better place.
We offered Shradham ( "Bali")- a traditional Hindu ritual for the salvation of a departed soul, at the Lemont Temple. My brothers and sister do it according to the malayalam calendar but me....I have to be different and perform the ceremony on the day she died according to the English calendar. No disrespect to any one, I have always been different. It is inborn, I don't pretend or try to be, it just comes natural. perhaps something I inherited from my paternal or maternal ancestors.....I don't know. It puzzles me and annoys my wife. She thinks I am trying to be a show off but I am not. If you read the previous posts in this blog you may be able to somewhat decipher my quirkiness.
Anyway....back to my mom. I guess I neglected her during the time she was alive so I am so much emotional after she passed away. I left home when I was 17 ( 27 years ago) and since then we have had a long distance mother-son relationship. Her values were different than mine, I loved and respected her but still somehow felt distant from her. I wanted her to be happy but I wanted to do things my way and often had differences due to that. She came and lived with us here in Chicago, I hoped that she would be happy and we all wanted to be happy but it turned out to be a disaster due to circumstances and she went back to India after a month's stay. How I wish I could go back in time and make things right for her. Que sera..sera.. whatever will be will be.
I am sure my mom's soul in peace. I have found peace :-) and finally come to terms with myself in the past year or so. No more bitterness towards the people and circumstances that mercilessly caused her pain and anguish for a better part of her life.
Let me tell you a story of when I was maybe 7 or 8 years old. I had conveniently forgotten to do my homework and gone to sleep. Mom woke me up after she had finished her chores late at night and went through my book bag, when she realized that I had not done my home work, she woke me up and made me do my homework which was preceded and followed by beatings with a guava twig which stung and hurt like anything. I fell asleep sobbing and crying. later in the dark of the night I could hear sitting beside me crying silently and gently patting my arms and legs where she had planted the guava twig:-). Next morning she woke up early and walked me to the bus stop at 6.45 am( normally I go myself, she had tons of chores to do before she went to work), consoling me and holding me close to her bosom. That was my mom, full of love and compassion for her children but helpless to show what she had in her heart due to the circumstances and commitments.
I hope she reincarnates and comes back to this world as a happy, healthy and peaceful being and make this world a better place.
posted by Rajeev Pillai @ 1:55 PM
0 comments
12.22.2007
Suprabhatham! Good Morning!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykB1Zg_fBcs&feature=related
One of my favorite songs of all times. What the lens is capturing is the picturesque landscape of Simla in the foothills of himalayas. The movie is "Panitheeratha veedu"and the actor is "Prem Naseer", a malayalam superstar of yesteryears who has acted in 400 + movies in the leading role.
Film : `Pani theeratha veedu`
Song : `Suprabhatam,....., Neelagiriyude sakhikale,.....`
Singer: Jayachandran.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Suprabhatam, suprabhatam, suprabhatam !
Neelagiriyude sakhikale, jwalamukhikale,
Jyotirmayiyam ushassinu velli-chamaram veesum meghangale,
Suprabhatam, ...... , ...... !
------
Anjana-kallukal minukki adukki, akhilanda-mandala silpi,
Panithittum panithittum panitheerath`oru prapancha mandirame,....mandirame,
Ninte nalukettinte padippura-muttathu `jan-ente muri koodi paniyichotte ?
Aha,ha,ha,....Oho,ho,ho,.....!
---------
Neelagiriyude.....
---------
Aayiram thamara-thalirukal vidarthi, arayannagale valarthi,
Vasanthavum sisiravum kulikkan-irangunna vana-sarovarame,...sarovarame,
Ninte neela varmukil-churulinte attathu `jan-ente poo koodi choodichotte ?
---------
Neelagiriyude.....
=====================================================================
Good morning , ..... , .... !
Ye friends/consorts of Neelgiri/Blue-mountains, ye volcanic crators,
Good morning, .... , .... !
-----
Ye bright dawn being breezed/fanned by the silver clouds,
Good morning, .... , .... !
------------
Ye still unfinished universal home ,
Laid of polished gem-stones by the sculptor of the world,
May I add my room too to the courtyard of your palace ?
-------
Ye friends/.... .....
------------
Ye forest-lake in which autumn and winter bathe,
Blooming a thousand lotus-buds and breeding the swans,
May I décor your dark-blue braid/hair with my flower too ?!
------------
Ye friends/ ..... ....
----------------------
Translated by my chettan- Gopan Nair, who celebrated his 60th birthday on Dec 25th 2007. happy birthday........Chetta!!
One of my favorite songs of all times. What the lens is capturing is the picturesque landscape of Simla in the foothills of himalayas. The movie is "Panitheeratha veedu"and the actor is "Prem Naseer", a malayalam superstar of yesteryears who has acted in 400 + movies in the leading role.
Film : `Pani theeratha veedu`
Song : `Suprabhatam,....., Neelagiriyude sakhikale,.....`
Singer: Jayachandran.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Suprabhatam, suprabhatam, suprabhatam !
Neelagiriyude sakhikale, jwalamukhikale,
Jyotirmayiyam ushassinu velli-chamaram veesum meghangale,
Suprabhatam, ...... , ...... !
------
Anjana-kallukal minukki adukki, akhilanda-mandala silpi,
Panithittum panithittum panitheerath`oru prapancha mandirame,....mandirame,
Ninte nalukettinte padippura-muttathu `jan-ente muri koodi paniyichotte ?
Aha,ha,ha,....Oho,ho,ho,.....!
---------
Neelagiriyude.....
---------
Aayiram thamara-thalirukal vidarthi, arayannagale valarthi,
Vasanthavum sisiravum kulikkan-irangunna vana-sarovarame,...sarovarame,
Ninte neela varmukil-churulinte attathu `jan-ente poo koodi choodichotte ?
---------
Neelagiriyude.....
=====================================================================
Good morning , ..... , .... !
Ye friends/consorts of Neelgiri/Blue-mountains, ye volcanic crators,
Good morning, .... , .... !
-----
Ye bright dawn being breezed/fanned by the silver clouds,
Good morning, .... , .... !
------------
Ye still unfinished universal home ,
Laid of polished gem-stones by the sculptor of the world,
May I add my room too to the courtyard of your palace ?
-------
Ye friends/.... .....
------------
Ye forest-lake in which autumn and winter bathe,
Blooming a thousand lotus-buds and breeding the swans,
May I décor your dark-blue braid/hair with my flower too ?!
------------
Ye friends/ ..... ....
----------------------
Translated by my chettan- Gopan Nair, who celebrated his 60th birthday on Dec 25th 2007. happy birthday........Chetta!!
posted by Rajeev Pillai @ 6:23 AM
0 comments
12.21.2007
DisneyWorld.....here we come!
The Pillai family (us) visited Mickeyland from November 21st to the 27th. We stayed at the Sheraton Safari Hotel outside the park for free thanks to American Express point redemption system. Visted Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom and MGM Studios. Kids met and spent quality time with their heroes. Also visited the Kennedy Space Center and got to see the launching pad from 300 feet away with the main rocket booster ready for the upcoming shuttle launch on Dec 6th. It was a holiday to remember and cherish for years to come.
posted by Rajeev Pillai @ 2:33 PM
0 comments
