How much affection is too much? or too little? If I can freeze time.......!! Who wants to be a Rocket scientist?

Love you Dad!... Love you Mom!... Love my boys!....Love my honey!.... who loves his boys?, who loves his girl?!.......If some one eaves drop around our home these phrases are flying around intermittently almost every few minutes when we are home. Call us loonies but we are a bunch of people who don't hide our affection for one another. That keeps the home fun and relaxed.

Consider this... I grew up in a household where affection was rarely shown and it was also considered that if you too much affection to your kids they will get spoiled and take advantage of you. I disagree....if you have love and affection ..show it.......else how is the other person going to know?, especially if they are little kids. It only makes them more secure and strong.

I was 16 years old when I left home for college, My sister was 10, brothers were 8 and 6 respectively. For me that age is frozen in time and I still see my little siblings as the little kids that they were.. If course I do not treat like them, they are all grown up adults now. Sometimes I call my two boys Aji and Manu, my brothers nicknames........out of habit from 25+ years ago. I happily took them under my wings and proudly looked after them.

Our kids are 5 and 7 and there are times when I wish I could freeze time and keep them that way for ever...that is selfish of me....they have to grow up and experience everything like everybody else. But it is that age where they are innocent, look up to us as we are superheroes ( mom and dad) and we can make anything better with a little kiss and a hug. My 2 boys' bed are occupied all the time by Barry the bear, blue the little dog, Mooomu the big dog, Moosie the Moose(deer), Snaky the teddy bear, Kiki the tiger, Dino the dinosuar and "Pup Pillai" Vinny newest hand puppet. OK, now you know that these are all stuffed animal toys. Also, their best friends, when they feel sick or sad, they find comfort with these dudes.

Soon they will pass this stage, resistence and independence is going to slowly break out in their diemnsion and things are going to change . I guess we have to keep a sane head and take one day at a time. Show them appreciation and teach values as you would want them to appreciate life. Easier said than done with today's dynamic world where things are changing at such a fast pace and peer pressure to top that.

We all want our kids to succeed, but is it right to contantly push them?......where is the limit? where is the fine line when encouragement becomes a nag? my older son wants to be a fireman when he grows up and save lifes and fight fires. the younger one wants to be a garbage truck driver with his best buddy Chris as the garbage picker who tosses garbage into the truck. when i was a little boy I wanted to be the school bus driver, as he was some one with a lot of authority and power. Here we have parents encouraging and enrolling their kids at tender ages to participate in academic programs which are above and beyond the normal curriculum. Is it absolutely necessary to do that? I would rather have a child who is happy, secure, aware, and street smart. Also some one who is a strong team player with good leadership qualities, when required. A healthy body also helps a healthy mind. Get good grades but also understand the concept and context during the learning process.

You...dear reader.....anything you wanna say? agree with me? no? Say something.....will ya?

Goal!! Goal!! Gooaall!!

Jay scored his first goal today playing soccer at the all star game at his crestwood soccer club today. His team came second out of 16 teams and won the silver medal. His contribution was his solid defence. With his above normal height he was able to thwart some sure chances for the opposing teams and frustrate them. One of his coaches called him the "Wall". Although this is his first season playing soccer, he has made considerable improvement with his body checking techniques and able to lift the ball above opponents heads. Quite an achievement for a 6 year old. We are really proud of our boy. His all star team members were Nick, Meghan, Luke and Ryan. His team name is Bulgaria. The regular memebers of his team are Christina, Tyler, Lucas, Israel, Jacob.

Pictures to follow!!

Love you Jay...from Mom, Vinny and Dad.

Another Milestone!

Our little Vinny ( Vineet Rajeev Pillai- his fully dignified name) finally conquered the 2 wheeler. Yesterday, Sept. 11th 2007, he learned to ride his bike without the help of training wheels. He is all of 4 years and 10 months, keeping pace with his older brother who learned to ride a 2 wheeler on 9/17/2005, yours truly's birthday :-). He is all excited and declared his bike to be the power ranger mobile on which he can fly and beat up bad guys.

Love you Vin and Jay!! Mom and Dad are proud of you.

Walk of Life

It was July 7th, 1980, on a unusually warm and sultry day, I left Bhopal for Mumbai. I say unusually, because normally it is wet and rainy in Bhopal that time of the year- monsoon in its full fury.I was all of 16 years and 10 months, baby face, no facial hair and little fuzz on my upper lip.
Somehow I knew I was leaving Bhopal for good, infact my mom stated later- "he did not even look back once when he left". I distictly remember holding a pillow in one hand and a shoulder bag ("Airbag" as it used be called those days) with everything that I need to start my college in IHMCTAN, Mumbai, walking as fast as I could to the bus stop, my dad a few paces ahead with another small bag with his change of clothes and necessities for the train and a short stay while he ensured I was settled comfortably in the new envirionment. Bus stop was about quarter of a mile from our humble BHEL quarters where I spent my childhood ( 629, N2 B Sector, Govindpura, Bhopal-462023-see picture). We walked past the N1 quarters, through TRT's (another classification of BHEL quarters) narrow lanes and there it was , the Bus stop from where I would take bus # 15A to Bhopal railway station ( fare 15 paise).
From there on I would board Dadar-Amritsar Express, second class ticket all the way to Dadar in the outskirts of Mumbai- mahanagari.My "chettan" (oldest cousin )was there with a big smile to greet me and take me to his PG dig ( paying guest accomodation for bachelors in Mumbai).I was seeing him after almost 10 years and I was happy because I knew that he would take good care of me :-), God bless him for that.
Although I would still remain the same naive, insecure, withdrawn country boy for years to come, as I walked that narrow path with filth on either sides, avoiding cows, buffaloes and mangy dogs in front of me, somehow I knew that would be a turning point in my life.My ears are still ringing with my little brothers and sister saying "Annna Ta-Ta" and my mother reminding me to say goodbye to "Ammini-Aunty".
In another 12 days, I will turn 44. Deep inside my heart, I am still the same old country boy who misses his mom and his little brothers and sister.